Who is this Sam oh Sam?

One of the kinks of owning a new cell phone (and number) are the random calls for the previous owner. I’ve been fielding anything and everything for an anonymous “Sam”, doing my best to be polite to let them know that “Sam” no longer has this number. Recently I received yet another text for “Sam” inviting her to a surprise birthday party.

I just couldn’t resist.

What follows is our conversation–word for word:

B-day surprise tester (we’ll call her Jeanette)

Sam, fyi, this surprise is for MOM, from Jeanette . . . Joyce’s B-day is Friday . . . she said she has never had a cake nor a party for her b-day . . . well she will have one so come on by and help celebrate Fri around 7

Me

I have electrolysis at 7. What about 8?

Jeanette

We’ll still be at the house, come when you can.

Me

Can I bring the cat!

Jeanette

I’m afraid of cats!!

Me

Oooops. I meant that as a question. My fingers are swollen from picking out cans from garbage dumpsters.

Jeanette

Ok, but still afraid . . .

Me

It only has 3 legs

and I just dewormed it

Jeanette

Eeeeeee . . . even worse!

Me

Tell me about it. There was one worm 5 feet long.

Jeanette

I’m confused!! U talking bout 3-legged cat, for real.

No cat.

Me

Ok. Will have to put it in the fridge till I get back.

How do you feel about parakeets?

Jeanette

Ok, u got me . . . ha ha!!

Me

I can bring a cake with a real parakeet topper.

Mom told me she liked birds but I don’t know if she was just talking about eagles or not.

Jeanette

We got the cake, thx.

Me

Did u invite mom’s taxidermist?

Jeanette

Nope.

Me

Y not? Too stiff?

He did wonders with my cat.

Although he did have to wait for it to thaw out.

When I didn’t hear from the B-day surprise texter for over an hour I decided to come clean. I didn’t want to ruin some woman’s very first surprise b-day party. That and I was afraid I’d receive a random text 2 days later filled with expletives. So I sent the following:

Me

btw–you’d better text Sam’s new number to invite her. She no longer has this number. 🙂

Jeanette

Ok, thanks!

I wonder . . . am I still invited to the party?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rachel
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 13:09:03

    Hahahahaha that is hilarious!!! I can’t believe that that lady was so nice about it too. I would be like “Ok crazy person…” if I were her. So glad you milked it though.

    By the way, you should probably change the font when you aren’t doing the texting. That way you can differentiate between the convo and your thoughts better. 🙂

    Reply

  2. Dana Swain
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 15:08:07

    You are the funniest woman in the world!!! Hahahaha! I love reading you, I will read you all the time. Please post more. And leave a “comment” button where I can find it.

    RioGirl

    Reply

  3. Divine K. Mabika
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 18:29:46

    Hahaha ! and What did she say ?

    Reply

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